I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
