aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
