Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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