I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
