Banned from zoo.
Again?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
This toilet bowl is my home.
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