loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
