Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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