we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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