I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
