i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
