are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
