Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
