Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
