did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
