I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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