The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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