Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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