I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Randomize
