You're so nebulous sometimes
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
