And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
