fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
