Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
