I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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