whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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