I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
