laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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