Plan B is the new Plan A
I skipped work to stalk him.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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