Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
