We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I need moral support for this bender
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
