'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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