I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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