How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
