Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
