I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
