break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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