I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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