marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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