Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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