OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
