real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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