Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
