Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
