The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
