I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
