Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
