I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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