Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
