three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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