Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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