Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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