i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
