Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
